by tatjannam

There comes a time in our lives (sometimes often, sometimes occasionally) that we look around, look deep into our thoughts and realize we have been caught up in the waves and pulled down by the undertow.  My life, has been a series of unfortunate events, that has put me right in line for the almost perfect moments I have been living. But through these moments, I have forgotten to be honest with myself. I have forgotten to remember why I love this job so much.
I look at others and think, my work is inferior that I could only hope to strive to be as original and as beautiful as some of those who live their days out in glowing popularity. I have become frustrated and ignorant to my own desires, in which my work had always been based on. And so I try to be more like them, more conformed and mainstream, when that is completely NOT who I am. And my passion for the job has faltered because of it.
But I am thankful, thankful that I have realized it before, my work did more then falter, I realized it before it fell flat. I live my life for the moment, for the beauty I perceive in my own mind of that moment. I’ve not been the type to tell a client how to pose, how to jump, how to act happy for my lens, Yet, I have found myself doing exactly that.

But as most things in life that I ponder upon, I have found resolution. I have spent to long worrying about what the other photographers will think, or who will notice my work, how many prints I can sell (though that does help to keep a business productive and running!) hehe. or who is who in local photographers or who is not, how much so and so is charging! It’s all incredibly ridiculous and doesn’t really do anything for my own self-esteem. I suppose this means changes in how I do business are coming.  Don’t worry I won’t be leaving this business, but I will be revamping my business.

I was once told by another photographer that we are not artists, we are business people. I beg to differ, I AM an artist and it is because that I have forgotten that, that I had forgotten my way. Well, my path is perfectly clear now, my work will again be what I meant it to be (though with the experience I have gained, I do hope it will be much better )

So what is it I meant my work to be? Art, my clients were never meant to get JUST a family portrait, they were meant to get memories and emotions. That first kiss will never again be a standard kiss again, it will be that unique moment in time when love was sealed forever.
I will remain consistent for those clients who have booked me for this year and those who have booked for next year. They have paid for what they have seen in the months past. But in the coming months, look for changes (it will not be over night).

There will be some other changes as well, and while I am here, being honest, I will touch on them. But first I want to say thank you to those of you close to me and those clients as well, who have taken me and my business seriously, those of you who have believed in me, thank you, just, Thank you.

Recently, I was approached by a person who expected me to shoot their relations event for free. I had recently had a lot of my gear stolen and had been reduced to rentals and borrowing while the insurance was being sorted. Which means I was paying for gear out of my pocket, I countered the person with that reasoning and was brushed off completely, not even willing to pay for the rentals. It hasn’t been the first time either and since I am being honest, I will say, it very much makes me feel like I am not running a business.

A little about me, I have 3 children in my home, who go to school, use electricity, eat food, like heat and so forth and there’s taxes just like everyone else. When I go to work, I buy clothes to make me look professional, (dry cleaning can be pricey for a person who works in rivers, mud, lays on sidewalks and so forth :).  )   What I’m getting at is Photography may be my love, but it is also my career, my it pays the bills, it is my job.

That being said (or ranted) I will be doing very few free sessions from here on out. I will still do a few free senior sessions for Foster Kids, but that is done through their probation officer, Social worker or counselor. I will only be doing 2 gift certificates for silent auctions.
Starting in 2013 I will only shoot 4-5 weddings a year, and they will not be cheap but I promise your images won’t be either.
I guess that’s it. I remember where I was supposed to be going now. And it’s time to start doing what I really love! I hope that those of you who have grown with me, continue to do so and to those who have been loyal, I will always remain loyal to you and will be rewarding with that. And Thank you again so much for encouraging me.